Your boyfriend is jumping up and down to Circus by Britney Spears. Great song but he has really been getting on your last nerve for the past month. Over the course of your five-year relationship he has slowly been taking things for granted. 

More than anything you would like him to pay more attention to you than his friends during Pride, but he’s sipping on a Stoli Pride Cocktail and chatting up his best girlfriend while you’re making drinks. 

As you’re cutting the lime he adds in another order, “Hey babe, Rachel has just arrived – would you mind making her a cocktail too?”

You reluctantly reply, “sure” and he doesn’t even pick up on your tone. It’s becoming a real issue and you’re beginning to think, “do I really want to be with this person?”

After all, you’re the one running your business successfully. You’re holding the fort down while he parties day-in, and day-out. He’s constantly bothering you and you think today might be the day you end the relationship. 

On a day that’s supposed to be filled with Pride you’re feeling ignored and embarrassed that you’re feeling like the third wheel. 

More than anything you just want them to leave so you can be with him and have a wonderful day. The festival was great but the afterparty is turning out to be a drag. You pull him into the other room and say, “I think we should…”

We’ve all been in this situation. At one point or another we have felt dispensable to our significant other. 

But… is pride really the time to end a long relationship that could be fixed with a discussion?

Sometimes our feelings can get the best of us, but Pride is the perfect time to reflect on our actions and our community. It’s a time to forge new relationships and strengthen existing ones. 

Our community is constantly being oppressed and we need to stick together. So before you think about finishing that sentence “I think we should….” 

Reflect on yourself during pride with these simple considerations

If you’ve been in a relationship for some time, it is easy to forget all the good that has come out of it. 

Use the acronym cute to be mindful of yourself and your partner. 

• Consider
• Understand
• Tell 
• Express

Consider their feelings

Looking back at the situation presented in this post, ask yourself if your partner is being inconsiderate of your feelings. If they are, perhaps they could be caught up in the moment. Ask yourself a few questions to better evaluate your situation. 

Questions like:

• Does this happen often?
• Is he simply excited to be with his friends?
• Do you feel ignored all the time?

Your feelings cannot be ignored, but equally if he’s just caught up in the moment you could simply resolve the issue with a conversation later. 

Understand your own emotions

Did you want to break up before Pride? If so, what may have led up to that decision? Oftentimes people deflect their emotions. Deflecting means you are upset with yourself – but instead of recognizing it you push those emotions onto someone else. 

If you deflect it can lead you to take some actions, you may later regret. So write down a list of any emotions you are feeling. Once you have them, think of three situations with your partner when you’ve felt like that. If you can have three situations for each moment it may be time to talk with your partner – if not, you may be deflecting. 

Tell your partner how you feel

Now, once you have your emotions listed it’s a good idea to talk about them. Make sure they understand your point of view and tell them what you’d like them to change and why. 

Make sure you are not doing this in front of friends though. If you do, you may come off as a party pooper. Pride is all about joy. It may be worth talking to him about this another time once you’ve had time to calm down and better reflect on your emotions. 

Your emotions are always valid, but they must also be followed through with logic. Sometimes the heart can deceive you, so it is best to think about all actions thoroughly before acting on them. 

So, instead of jumping to the “let’s break up” part of the conversation, it may be better to focus on the immediate changes you’d like to see in the very near future – say a few hours or so. 

Express your feelings

Feelings are never wrong, but sometimes they disguise themselves in ways that may be difficult to understand. So, before you jump the gun and kick him out of your life, try talking to him. If you have a heartfelt conversation, you may find that people aren’t as good at reading emotions as you’d expect. 

Faces don’t always tell us emotions, so assuming he will understand your feelings through your actions or tone is not a great reason to break up with your partner. 

Let some things slide and consider the circumstances

Although this isn’t part of our acronym, it’s very good advice for anything in life. Sometimes things don’t always pan out as we intend them to. People get caught up in their own lives and can lose track of what’s going on with others. 

When that happens it’s important to give a gentle nudge that you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or scared. However, you should never let it rule your emotions. 

So, if you’re thinking about leaving your partner during Pride, consider how cute he is and reflect on your feelings. If they are justified, then go ahead and let him know it’s not gonna work. However, just remember that he loves you and you love him. It may be the secret to keeping the flame burning. 

What did you think about our acronym? Could you apply it into your own life? We would love to hear your comments so we can continue to make content that you love to read!