Building a more united LGBTQ community starts with individual responsibility. While activism, politics, and protest play crucial roles, the everyday ways we treat one another are just as important. If we’re going to protect the rights we’ve fought for and grow into a more compassionate community, we need to start with how we act toward each other—today, not tomorrow.

From side-eyes at the club to ghosting on Grindr, there are subtle behaviors that tear us down from the inside. These actions may seem small in the moment, but they chip away at the trust, respect, and inclusivity our community needs to thrive. Everyone’s on their own journey, but if we want real progress, we have to hold ourselves—and each other—accountable.

It’s time to rise above the drama, leave the tired shade behind, and focus on building each other up instead of tearing each other down. Whether you’re masc, femme, kinky, poly, single, married, or still figuring things out, we all have something to contribute. Here are eight powerful ways you can help make the LGBTQ community stronger right now.

1. Respect Relationship Boundaries

Monogamous. Non-monogamous. Open. Closed. Polycule. Whatever the setup, respect is key. Cheating creates distrust and hurts more than just your partner—it affects how we view relationships in our community as a whole. If your current relationship structure isn’t working for you, talk about it. Communicate with clarity instead of sneaking around. Honesty won’t just save your relationship; it will save face, and foster a culture of transparency we all benefit from.

2. Quit the Judgy Behavior

Being gay doesn’t make you immune to being judgmental—and sometimes the shade we throw at each other runs deeper than any homophobic insult. From mocking someone’s fashion choices to assuming someone’s value based on body type or voice tone, internal judgment keeps us divided. Stop the snarky side-eye and start showing up for people with kindness. You never know what someone’s dealing with. Embracing differences is how we survive and grow, together.

3. Keep Your Commitments

We all get busy. Plans shift. Mental health hits. But constantly canceling last minute—or worse, ghosting completely—sends the message that people’s time doesn’t matter. If you’ve agreed to brunch, coffee, or even a gym date, honor that. If things change, send a respectful message. People remember how you treat them, especially when they’ve carved out space in their life for you. Reliability isn’t boring; it’s hot. And it helps create stronger, more dependable connections within the community.

4. Practice Better App Etiquette

Online platforms have completely changed how we connect, but they’ve also made it way too easy to treat people like disposable content. If someone messages you, they’re putting themselves out there—treat that with respect. You don’t have to respond with flirty energy, but a “thanks but not my vibe” goes a long way. Blocking someone just because they messaged you? That’s petty. Let’s be the kind of people who value honest communication over passive-aggressive silence.

5. Stop the Toxic Competition

You don’t need to be the smartest, sexiest, richest, most followed guy in the room. There will always be someone else who has something you don’t—and that’s okay. Instead of seeing other gay men as competition, see them as inspiration. Compliment that guy’s outfit. Ask how he got into that career. Support his creative work. Competing creates barriers. Supporting each other builds bonds. Want to make the LGBTQ community stronger? Stop comparing and start celebrating.

6. Reject Heteronormative Thinking

We don’t need to copy straight relationships to validate our own. Husband/wife roles, top/bottom expectations, and gendered responsibilities are outdated frameworks in queer love. Your relationship doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. What matters is that it works for you and your partner(s). It’s okay to challenge expectations and redefine intimacy. That’s part of our legacy as LGBTQ people—creating new models for what love can be, not settling for the old ones.

7. Embrace the Full Spectrum of Gender Expression

Masc4Masc? No femmes? Sis, really? It’s 2025. We’ve been through too much as a community to still be shaming people for how they walk, talk, or show up in the world. Hyper-masculinity isn’t the goal—authenticity is. Femme energy is powerful, playful, and deserves its place in every gay space. Don’t pretend you’ve never benefited from a fierce queen’s confidence or a soft boy’s vulnerability. Rejecting people based on how they express their gender only weakens us all.

8. Update Your Safer Sex Game

Condoms are still a great tool, but they’re not the only one. Safer sex today includes knowing your HIV status, understanding PrEP and PEP, staying informed on U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable), and getting tested regularly. STI stigma has no place in a strong community. Most infections are treatable, and communication is the real flex. Have the “when was your last test” talk. Share your status. Normalize smart sex. Knowledge, not fear, is what keeps us safe and connected.

Bonus: Celebrate the Wins—Big and Small

Strength doesn’t just come from fixing problems. It comes from lifting each other up. Congratulate your friends when they hit milestones. Celebrate sobriety, new jobs, coming out moments, and queer joy without envy. We’re not just surviving—we’re thriving. And the more we acknowledge each other’s wins, the more we all win together.

Call People In, Not Just Out

Yes, there’s a time and place to call out bad behavior. But we can’t build community on shame alone. Try calling people in instead. That means creating space for growth. Let someone know when their words were hurtful, but give them room to do better. We all mess up sometimes. What makes a community strong isn’t perfection—it’s the willingness to keep learning, forgiving, and moving forward with compassion.

Be Visible in Real Life, Not Just Online

We love a thirst trap and a good story repost, but building community doesn’t happen through likes and swipes alone. Show up at events. Volunteer. Check in on friends. Attend Pride beyond the party. There’s magic in connecting face-to-face. Online validation is fleeting, but real-world presence is unforgettable. If we want real bonds, we’ve got to step out from behind our screens and meet each other in the real world.

Start With Yourself

At the end of the day, it starts with you. Your attitude, your choices, your willingness to be better. No one’s perfect, but we don’t need perfect—we need real, kind, and committed people willing to show up. Every conversation, connection, and correction matters. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially then.

Let’s Keep Building Each Other Up

There’s no quick fix to creating a stronger LGBTQ community, but every small action adds up. Whether it’s unlearning old habits, honoring your commitments, or simply choosing kindness, you have more power than you think. Let’s stop tearing each other down and start building each other up. Share your thoughts below—what do you think we need to do to make the LGBTQ community stronger?