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Important Things You Need to Know About Coming Out

by | August 14, 2021 | Time 3 mins

Coming out is hard. Nobody can tell you when or how to do it. It all depends on what you think is best and your personal situation. However, we can all agree that we should not have to come out. Unfortunately, we don’t yet live in a society where we can just exist without declaring our sexuality.  Here are some important tips about coming out and approaches that can make this process easier. 

A man who is just coming out at a gay Pride parade.

Who To Tell First?

The first and scariest question you need to think about is who to tell. This is a question only you can answer. A sister can be a great place to start. Many sisters already have gay friends, and it can mean that they are more open to your sexuality. The hardest people to tell will be those with a generational difference. You should ask yourself who you think will be the most likely to accept you. Then, you should tell that person first to test the waters. 

What Do You Say?

The next big thing running through your mind should be, “what am I going to say?” For some people, this can be an easy choice. Maybe you have a family member who is already LGBTQ friendly. If so, you should tell that person first. They are less likely to out you to the rest of the family. Then you must think about what to say. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be, just say what is in your heart. If you’re la colossal flamer, chances are your family will probably already know. Choosing the right person to tell can make your coming out process much easier.  

Make A Plan

If you live with bible-thumping bigots, hell-bent on kicking you out on the street, make sure you have a backup plan. Your backup plan should be someone you love and trust very much. Having massive anxiety about coming out is normal. This can be because of many reasons such as no knowing how your family will react. Especially if they are very religious. So, make a good back up plan. It should include where you will go and stay if needed. 

If you are under 18, you should probably have a plan to get food and a job to support yourself while at school. Many support groups exist and care about you. There are shelters to help LGBT youth. The Trevor Project is an organization that helps LGBT youth whose families have disowned them. You should check out their website and use them in your backup plan. The last thing you should consider is how it will change your life. I want you to remember one vital thing: YOU ARE LOVED! 

There are so many wonderful people in the world that care for our beautiful community. In high school, coming out can be daunting, but you will find many people who care for you in the real world. The it gets better project is an organization dedicated to uplifting our community and empowering us. Without people who cared, they would not exist, so you should check them out. 

Make Your Mark 

You will see many beautiful LGBT people living their lives after coming out. You will see and truly understand that it gets better. If you are concerned about coming out, check out some of these resources. Make your plan, and always remember to tell the person you think will accept you the most. You will feel better knowing that if they don’t accept you, some places and people do. They are willing to help you. Make your plan, then bust out of that closet. We were meant to leave our mark on the world. 

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Sean Kivi

Sean Kivi

Author

Sean Kivi holds a master's degree from the University of Nottingham in translation studies from Spanish to English. He specializes in writing about gay culture and its influence on discourse. Sean speaks Spanish fluently and focuses on translating gay-themed literature to English and analyzing the discourse to understand how our culture is universal yet distinct in countries worldwide. He has translated for authors in Mexico and completed case studies related to machismo and its influences on gay culture in Latin America.

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