When we hear the word “kink,” it makes us feel weird. Many people immediately think of an X-cross, whips, chains – or even the forbidden glory hole. But did you know a kink is anything sexual that falls outside of the realm of what traditional sex is? It is normal and healthy for you to have kinks, and everyone has weird things they like in bed. We all have that friend that loves to grab ears or lick toes. 

Embracing Sex Positivity: Normalizing and Communicating Kinks

In simpler words, kinks are what turns us on and energize us in the bedroom. We can all look to sex positivity to help us better explain our kinks to our partners. If we adopt the principles of sex-positivity, we understand that kinks should be normalized and embraced, not make us feel ashamed. Still, telling our partners about our kinks can be frightening. We aren’t sure of how they’ll react nor if they will enjoy that kink. 

Approaching the Conversation: Strategies for Sharing Kinks

Usually, people approach telling their partners about their kinks in three ways. The first is to ease into the situation and hint at our likes. It could be through small actions in the bedroom, such as playing with our partner’s toes or putting them in our mouths. When you approach kinks this way, your partner doesn’t respond how you’d like. But at least you are indicating that you have a kink you’d like reciprocated. 

Encouraging Open Communication: Strengthening Emotional Bonds

The second, and better approach, is to encourage open communication with your partner. When you have open communication, your relationship is likely to be emotionally stronger. It boosts your confidence and removes some uncertainty related to opening to your partner. You should not have one conversation.

Implementing Safe Practices: Establishing Boundaries

Instead, encourage a series of conversations about sexual curiosities. Adjust as necessary, so you and your partner are comfortable. When you both feel comfortable communicating your needs, you can begin to explore them without feeling strange. 

Navigating Rejection: Handling Partner’s Response

After you establish the communication, try to decide on doing something you talked about. You can try something like a safe word. It can introduce you to the idea of being kinky but keep both partners feeling safe. The safe word can be used when things become too intense for you or your partner. They should be respected.

Addressing Concerns: Alleviating Partner’s Apprehensions

If your partner isn’t feeling up to trying something new, try to frame the conversation later. Perhaps they’re open to kinky ideas sometime in the future, but now they aren’t in the mood to try something out. 

Fostering Mutual Understanding: Creating a Supportive Environment

It could be that your partner feels uncomfortable trying something new because they think you’ll be evaluating their skills. A great way to combat this is by letting your partner know that you’re more interested in trying something out rather than the ability to get you off from doing it. Let them know that the experience will be new for you too. You set the stage for a fun experience that doesn’t bring unwanted pressure into the bedroom when you do this. 

Embracing Sexual Exploration: Nurturing Relationship Growth

Having sexual fantasies or kinks is a normal part of life. You shouldn’t sexually deprive yourself because it can make you unhappy, or at the least dissatisfied and sexually frustrated. Always feel open to talk to your partner about possibly trying out anything new in the bedroom. If your partner doesn’t want to let you try something new, you could always ask if they would mind you trying it out with another person.

Cultivating a Fulfilling Relationship through Communication

Some people have open relationships, and they are common in the gay world. The basis of any relationship for sex and happiness is open communication. When you communicate clearly, you will see your relationship flourish and blossom into something beautiful. You’ll also be happier and feel more confident.